video, backdated to March 5

[telewarped]

Hey, losers. This has definitely been one of the months I've had so far, but now I'm officially bored to death.

[There is a general air of malaise permeating this message, even if the voice of the Pokémon sending it—a gray-toned Mimikyu, currently stationed in what appears to be one of the Oran guild's dens—sounds casual and calm enough.]

At least one of you has to have a decent rec for how to kill time around here you can give me... Or just tag yourself. Whatever.

[At the words tag yourself, an image takes shape in your mind. It's astonishingly clear and will remain present in your head until your connection to this particular Grumpearl is broken.]

Later.

Comments

[truthdecided]

...Why is A.B.A-san listed as a bird? The only thing they have in common are their beaks, which are features often associated with dinosaurs and mythical creatures like dragons as well.

[Yes, Shoka, Akechi is being that kind of person. He has the right, as the resident bird!]

voice

[moondregs]

Thank you.

[truthdecided]

Of course. As the resident bird, it's my responsibility to question such a perplexing classification.

voice, ish

[outbounds]

So if another bird besides you and A.B.A shows up, will you share joint responsibility over such questions?

[ he's making this worse on purpose. or maybe he's just respecting a.b.a's desire to be considered a bird. who can say. ]

[truthdecided]

Why not? I can't be the sole off-world representation for avian kind. A balanced discussion will lead to more nuance on the topic of what does and doesn't count as a bird in this world.

[outbounds]

Hmm. Okay!

And what do you have so far? Please list the features that must comprise a bird. And or any dealbreakers that would make something not a bird.

[truthdecided]

[Hmmm... An interesting concept, certainly. Where to start...]

Warm-blooded, egg-laying creatures with some form of feathers and beaks that walk upright rather than on all fours. Allowances can be made for teeth, as many dinosaurs were ancestors to birds, such as the velociraptor, though modern day birds no longer have them. Finally, their bones are light, yet strong, and while many fly, there are large flightless birds as well as aquatic birds such as penguins.

[His thoughts then flash through several examples. Crows, owls, penguins, ostriches, and even the humble kiwi.]

[outbounds]

[ uh-huh, mmhmm, okay, yup there's a Pokémon like that— it sure seems like he understands all the examples— ]

Got it! Now revoking: Sigilyph's bird license! Togekiss amongst others may also be in dubious standing.

[ behold, a man, ]

[truthdecided]

Hmm... Togekiss has some slightly avian attributes, but they're really not distinct enough. No beak or talons, and it certainly resembles more of a fae creature. As for Sigilyph, wings do not a bird make. It's much too abstract to even remotely fit.

[Even if this is in jest, Akechi is Akechi. He will educate and take this seriously.]

[quirkynote]

Larger falcons and accipiter hawks mostly feed on smaller birds, another feature we likely share.

[truthdecided]

Threatening murder over a disagreement? I doubt that will go over well with Mightyena-san.

[Heh, heh... A bold statement to be sure.]

You're welcome to make a case for yourself, but try to be mature about it rather than threatening violence.

[quirkynote]

[Oh, I'm sure that's something she can absolutely do haha just kidding]

I'LL KILL YOU!!!

[truthdecided]

Yet again, unnecessary hostility.

If you believe yourself a bird, I'm willing to listen. Without threats of violence.

[quirkynote]

[A.B.A responds with incoherent screaming.]

[truthdecided]

[Um.

Well. This is certainly an extreme reaction.]

Is being a bird truly that important to you?

[quirkynote]

Yes.

[And it's just so strange that people want to take that from her!]

A symbol of freedom almost as magnificent as the key. My wings may not be visible to the eye, but they are proudly displayed in my heart.

[truthdecided]

[Okay. So, clearly he miscalculated.]

In my defense, I wasn't aware that this held such personal meaning to you.

[...]

That being said, I do understand the appeal from a symbolic perspective.

[On the other hand...]

But what do keys have to do with any of this?

[telewarped]

Wow, some ace detective you are. Did you not notice that she also has feathers, talons, and a crest? Not to mention the weird parrot tongue.

[... Is it weird that she noticed the parrot tongue? It's not her fault A.B.A sleeps right next to her and snores!]

[truthdecided]

Oh, I can acknowledge the crest, beak, and feathers, but last I checked, birds are not quadrupeds, nor do they have paws. There are avian traits, yes, but she's more akin to a chimera.

[At least Shoka isn't threatening murder, though. Someone knows how to handle a mature conversation.]

[telewarped]

So are you calling her a chimera or a dinosaur?

[truthdecided]

The insectoid forelimbs skew closer to a chimera. Aquatic dinosaurs did exist, complete with fins, even if the type of feathers would be out of place on a more aquatic creature. Not to mention, the ears are more evocative of a feline...

[His mind presents a diagram, with a Silvally and then little arrows pointing to the different animal traits.]

[telewarped]

Pfft, no way did you just think a whole-ass A.B.A diagram at me. Call that the A.B.A-lysis.

[The A.B.A analysis?]

[truthdecided]

I thought it would demonstrate my points more clearly.

[No, he will not rise to her bait. He knows better. Mostly.]

Regardless, it seems the idea of being a bird brings her happiness.

[telewarped]

Well, since you care so much, maybe I'll put you in that spot instead.

[truthdecided]

I'm not interested in being kissed by the fairer sex, so she can have it.