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[It's a rare time when Noelle is in her room alone. The faint sound of chiptune music and various beeps or boops can be heard nearby, though. It seems she's distracted her roommates or other Oran Berries with her gaming console.

The sleigh bed takes up most of her section, but a lumpy gingerbread man plushie and a white cloth angel doll are prominently displayed. Noelle herself is wearing her snowflake patterned shawl.]

Um, so... does anyone else here believe in the Angel?

[Maybe she should clarify. Most people here come from worlds that don't have monsters at all... only Kris probably knows what she means, and they probably don't want to talk about it.]

Or, like, a higher power of some kind. Any kind of spirituality, really. [Faint memories leak through- singing in a church choir, praying with clasped hands, dreaming about flying on feathered wings.] I was just thinking, like... how do you reconcile that with everything that's happened here?

I mean, this place has 'legendary Pokemon' and stuff, but... if you believe in a higher power who made everything, for example, did they make this world, too? Or do they not exist here? Do they all exist together?

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[ eleanor comes through, her voice still sounding as though she's speaking underwater. she's sort of staring off past the pearl. ]

Angel has a very different connotation for me than it does for you, then? [ she's. not sure how to explain that one. or anything in relation to this question really. how do you explain that you. kind of were? the god? awkward. ] My mother led a cult.

... Oh. [She mentally kicks herself. This is a sensitive topic for a lot of people!] Um, I'm really sorry. I'm here if you want to... talk about it? [She would never say out loud she has a bad mother- she was just under a lot of pressure- but like. Maybe she can relate?]

Where I came from, the Angel was our guardian. Like, a great being we could pray to for guidance. And there was a prophecy about heroes saving the world.

You couldn't have known. [ she hasn't really brought it up with anyone yet. ] It's all right. Thank you.

[ a prophecy, huh? that seems pretty standard, but that almost makes it sound like noelle comes from a fantasy novel than a real world. maybe other worlds operate like fantasy novels? ]

That's... nicer than my version of an angel.

Sorry your version wasn't so nice. [She won't pry.] I get why not everyone has good experiences with this type of thing. People don't want to think that there's some kind of, like, puppetmaster controlling your every move.

But I don't see it that way, personally. Isn't it nice to think that there's some loving being out there watching over you? Someone who wants you to succeed, who you can confide in if you're scared? [In her darkest moments, it's helped her feel less alone. Like things have to turn out okay. Like she'll see her lost loved ones again, somewhere, sometime.]

[ to eleanor, that's just how her family was. the little sisters often came to her with things, and that doesn't even begin to go into how the rapture family as a whole viewed her. ]

It's a nice thought, but... what do you do when you don't get an answer? [ she's not actually that familiar with true religion - it wasn't something that was allowed in rapture. she's passingly familiar with judaism, although tenenbaum was non-practicing, and christianity seems to seep into just about everything. this doesn't really sound like either, though. ] The people turned to my mother-- [ fell for it. they fell for it. ] --because that's what she could give them. Pardon my asking, I'm just not familiar with the concept of gods as... intangible.

Not that my mother was ever the god.

... the Angel can work in mysterious ways. [That's what she's always been told whenever she has questions. Why did tragedy have to strike their family specifically? Why does it allow suffering at all? Only the Angel understands the fine details of its plan.] I guess you just have to trust that you were heard. Sometimes speaking to it is more important than getting a concrete answer, anyway. That's what I think, at least.

I mean, getting direct answers every time... that's less 'faith' and more of like, an employee and boss relationship or something, right? Faith implies belief in something unknown, I think.

[ when noelle puts it like that, suddenly things make a lot more sense. the rapture family was more like her mother being the boss and everyone else being her goons, than anything else. a god that felt more abstract would definitely be more comforting than your boss. ]

Belief in the unknowable is what gets you through life. I think a person needs a lot of it to make it far.

Yeah! You get it. Maybe faith doesn't always take the same form, but like, I think belief in something is important. Some kind of purpose... some vision of the world as you want it to be. You know?

Yes.

[ it's nice to see people who don't have the worst intentions humanly possible with that sentiment. believing something so hard you must make it true - that was the philosophy of the city that crumbled around her. and yet, here in the bay, that doesn't appear to be happening. ]

What do you see in your world?

... It would be nice to not ever have to fight again. [Lots of people here like it as a hobby, but it's not always just a game. She hates every second of it.] Just focus on healing people and spending time with my friends. Finding a way home for everyone. [Though she doesn't want to think about what choice she'll make when that time comes.] Umm, what about you?

[ is that idealistic, or just naive, eleanor wonders. ]

That's nice. [ she glances to the side to think. ] I'm still working that one out. I just want to find my own happiness.

... Sometimes it doesn't have to be anything big, you know? It can just be enough to spend time with friends and eat nice food and stuff. The little things. [Hypocritical for her, the mayor's daughter and honor roll student. But this is something she's been trying to accept lately, herself.]

[ she smiles softly. ]

That's what I want, I think. To try and be a normal girl- seal. [ a giggle. ]

And I'll do my best to be a normal deer! [She giggles, too. For a moment, she does feel pretty normal, and that's nice.]

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video; (threadjacking ok! cw for discussions of cults)

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we can wrap this up here as well if you'd like?