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deltarune: noelle holiday

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[It's a rare time when Noelle is in her room alone. The faint sound of chiptune music and various beeps or boops can be heard nearby, though. It seems she's distracted her roommates or other Oran Berries with her gaming console.

The sleigh bed takes up most of her section, but a lumpy gingerbread man plushie and a white cloth angel doll are prominently displayed. Noelle herself is wearing her snowflake patterned shawl.]

Um, so... does anyone else here believe in the Angel?

[Maybe she should clarify. Most people here come from worlds that don't have monsters at all... only Kris probably knows what she means, and they probably don't want to talk about it.]

Or, like, a higher power of some kind. Any kind of spirituality, really. [Faint memories leak through- singing in a church choir, praying with clasped hands, dreaming about flying on feathered wings.] I was just thinking, like... how do you reconcile that with everything that's happened here?

I mean, this place has 'legendary Pokemon' and stuff, but... if you believe in a higher power who made everything, for example, did they make this world, too? Or do they not exist here? Do they all exist together?

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[ He knows he hasn't spoken to her much, but...

Huh. He's thought about it a bit, to be honest. For once, Courier Six seems a little vulnerable. ] I don't believe in any form of Angel - not somethin' I've heard where I'm from. But.

[ Well. Might as well admit it. He's even using video, he's on his usual wandering around patrol. ]

Do you recall the voice that we heard, when we were torn into this place? I still believe, maybe, that was th'voice of God. Perhaps God has brought us here for some purpose yet to be revealed.

We worship the Architect. [ well. "we" is a strong word, parvati's not actually sure how much she describes to it considering how much her worldview clashes with the scripture. ] The idea that the universe is logically created by a divine being, to His Grand Plan.

I was never much for it, the Plan's a machine that ain't never been run. It can't be perfect and well-oiled, y'know? [ plus the whole predeterminism angle. yeesh. ]

[ eleanor comes through, her voice still sounding as though she's speaking underwater. she's sort of staring off past the pearl. ]

Angel has a very different connotation for me than it does for you, then? [ she's. not sure how to explain that one. or anything in relation to this question really. how do you explain that you. kind of were? the god? awkward. ] My mother led a cult.

... Oh. [She mentally kicks herself. This is a sensitive topic for a lot of people!] Um, I'm really sorry. I'm here if you want to... talk about it? [She would never say out loud she has a bad mother- she was just under a lot of pressure- but like. Maybe she can relate?]

Where I came from, the Angel was our guardian. Like, a great being we could pray to for guidance. And there was a prophecy about heroes saving the world.

That sounds kind of like the Angel. ['Architect'... 'Angel'... they're kind of similar, right?] There was a grand prophecy and everything. You don't think that there's a higher power guiding our actions?

Oh! [... she completely forgot. The last thing she remembers was making a wish, and then it came true. In a sense, at least. That must be divine intervention, right?] ... you're right. I've heard people say there must be a reason we're all here! Maybe it's to help save this world, even. [That would align with the prophecy she was taught at home, kind of.]

You couldn't have known. [ she hasn't really brought it up with anyone yet. ] It's all right. Thank you.

[ a prophecy, huh? that seems pretty standard, but that almost makes it sound like noelle comes from a fantasy novel than a real world. maybe other worlds operate like fantasy novels? ]

That's... nicer than my version of an angel.

[Talking about Heaven? Or Hell??? Let's rock????? Either way, A.B.A sees it only as another opportunity to flex.]

As a homunculus, the whims of higher powers held absolutely no relevance when it came to my creation. The very laws of nature were bent and reshaped to their limits simply to accommodate me into being, how many can say the same, I wonder...? The truth is, whether or not I believe in a higher power hardly matters when they already don't believe in me.

Not really, no. Scientism's whole thing is that the universe is predetermined with math. I ain't too sure how I feel about my decisions not really being my own. [ or the idea that the deaths of her dad and coworkers were part of a mathematically perfect plan for the universe. ] Guiding, sure. But having it all be pre-written?

[She's finding it much easier to take these things in stride after their mission together.] You think so? Maybe. But if the universe is following a prophecy, then who's to say it wasn't part of an Angel's plan to have those scientists create you? [A.B.A was still created by a divine being, but with extra steps, in other words.]

Sorry your version wasn't so nice. [She won't pry.] I get why not everyone has good experiences with this type of thing. People don't want to think that there's some kind of, like, puppetmaster controlling your every move.

But I don't see it that way, personally. Isn't it nice to think that there's some loving being out there watching over you? Someone who wants you to succeed, who you can confide in if you're scared? [In her darkest moments, it's helped her feel less alone. Like things have to turn out okay. Like she'll see her lost loved ones again, somewhere, sometime.]

I hear what you're saying, yeah. [If that were the case, why even try? All your actions would be futile. Your choices wouldn't matter at all.

She's silent for a moment, contemplative.] ... I think someone could drive themselves crazy thinking about that, faha. Even if there is a prophecy with just one predetermined ending, there could still be multiple ways to get there. Maybe our choices write the story, even if we tend to act in predictable ways sometimes.

[...That was not the awe-inspired reaction she was hoping for. A.B.A's fur bristles.]

H-He was a singular doctor, don't diminish his genius by suggesting a team of some sort was involved...!

[She puffs up defensively, like a big angry chicken. Gonna make her dad sound less cool that way!! It absolutely isn't a distraction, because she doesn't have a good argument against what Noelle has to say. She is a living affront to God, dammit! An outsider in a world that had no intention of ever creating her! Stop...making it sound like she was welcomed to the party all along.]

[ to eleanor, that's just how her family was. the little sisters often came to her with things, and that doesn't even begin to go into how the rapture family as a whole viewed her. ]

It's a nice thought, but... what do you do when you don't get an answer? [ she's not actually that familiar with true religion - it wasn't something that was allowed in rapture. she's passingly familiar with judaism, although tenenbaum was non-practicing, and christianity seems to seep into just about everything. this doesn't really sound like either, though. ] The people turned to my mother-- [ fell for it. they fell for it. ] --because that's what she could give them. Pardon my asking, I'm just not familiar with the concept of gods as... intangible.

Not that my mother was ever the god.

Yeah. Our choices are what matters. You know what they say about the journey being what really matters, not the destination? [ she pauses, in thought. ]

What's the Angel like?

Fahaha-- [She's really cute like this! Just like a big chicken-dog-lady!] Well, maybe whatever higher power is out there feels glad you're here even if you weren't expected. [Like an unplanned baby. She's not going to say that. (Uh oh, her thoughts might be transmitting over the Grumpearl...)] I mean, I'm glad you exist.

... the Angel can work in mysterious ways. [That's what she's always been told whenever she has questions. Why did tragedy have to strike their family specifically? Why does it allow suffering at all? Only the Angel understands the fine details of its plan.] I guess you just have to trust that you were heard. Sometimes speaking to it is more important than getting a concrete answer, anyway. That's what I think, at least.

I mean, getting direct answers every time... that's less 'faith' and more of like, an employee and boss relationship or something, right? Faith implies belief in something unknown, I think.

[Her relief at being understood is palpable. Even if Parvati isn't necessarily a believer or even from the same faith tradition, it feels nice. A little bit of normality in this strange world.]

Well, where I come from, the Angel is our guardian. It created the very fabric of the universe, and each and every one of us in it. Even someone small has a role to play. [Everyone has a reason to exist. She always liked that thought.]

The Angel imparted its grand prophecy about chosen heroes to worthy people who would pass it down as scripture. One day, the Angel will return and bring Heaven to the world. Isn't that kind of awesome to think about? I dunno, I'm probably boring you, haha.

[ huh! that isn't that different from the architect, then. not really. ]

I mean, maybe? Religion like that is more of an Earth concept, the afterlife ain't really a consideration. [ you live, you work, you buy, you die. rinse and repeat. ] Trust me, I'm not bored. You don't gotta sell yourself short, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't interested.

Maybe it's somethin' I can tell a friend of mine about when I get back. He's a Vicar who just had, uh, a real bad crisis of faith.

[ when noelle puts it like that, suddenly things make a lot more sense. the rapture family was more like her mother being the boss and everyone else being her goons, than anything else. a god that felt more abstract would definitely be more comforting than your boss. ]

Belief in the unknowable is what gets you through life. I think a person needs a lot of it to make it far.

[A.B.A growls, ears pinned back. Noelle...she's...she's laughing at her? HER?! After she just explained what a super cool, super impressive abomination she is?! Unforgivable...!

...Still, she can't hide the weird flutter in her chest from the pearl. No one...has ever told her they're glad she exists. For what reason does anyone have to be glad?]

O-Of course you are! You understand true potential when you see it. Do keep in mind it's the only reason why I allow you to keep living.

Gosh, that sounds rough... [Especially if religion is that strange and rigid where she came from.] I hope he was able to figure it all out.

... did your religion under the Architect really have no holidays or anything, though? [She had to explain the concept when she met!] And speaking of that, how did you enjoy the winter holidays this year?

The only deities in my world were the Fears.

[Agnes is curled up around her pearl, snout bopping at it gently, so this might be an odd view of her.]

Thirteen or fourteen or more or fewer. All gods of dismal things like death and pain and terror. Or horror. You didn't need to believe in them, to know their influence.

Yeah! You get it. Maybe faith doesn't always take the same form, but like, I think belief in something is important. Some kind of purpose... some vision of the world as you want it to be. You know?

W-well, thanks for that! Your mercy is appreciated??

[She likes living, despite all the hardships and strangeness.]

... If you're a homunculus, do you think you have a soul? You know. What do you think will happen if you... _die?

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video; cw for this thread: religious discussion, mormonism [threadjacking okay]

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canon is scarce on details so i'm improvising a little

one of these days I need to send you one of my multi para dragon blazers rants

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