4th Quest [Audio, early morning] [Dawntrail spoilers]

[bladeofnymeia]

[She's awake. Has been, since the weakest strains of dawn. But Firoza has not the energy or the desire to project any image of herself when she makes this post. She just wishes to speak to someone. Anyone. Even if no one deigns to respond.]

...So these months. The ones where new arrivals begin to appear. The hazy ones.

[A pause. A stifled sigh.]

They feel as dreams sometimes. Especially when whomever you met does not remain once the air clears. And...I am not opposed to dreams. Bittersweet though they might be. But it does make me wonder something.

[As much as Firoza is keeping her tone even, the emotion that seeps out is palpable. Heavy, tender sorrow. Longing and loneliness, and...a sparkling, defiant mote of hope.]

Do you think...a-and if this is personal to you, please, do not feel you have to respond. But could it be possible that the living are not the only ones who can find themselves here? That...that those who ought to have passed on, in one way or another, could still...appear?

[Just gripping those fuzzy memories of reuniting to her heart, bidding them not to escape. It would be too much.]

I ask only because...well. I adore you all, truthfully. Even if we have not been introduced properly. But I cannot ignore how sorely I miss so many from home. Both those who live, and those who do not. I just...even in a new form, I...I'd like to be a little selfish, and hope to see them again.

[She ends it there, but not without a definite sense of being torn by this desire. Both an insistent palm pressed to a deep bruise, and a gnawing worry tinged with gold.

"Am I as they were? So desperate to preserve their dead, allowing them no rest, no renewal? Stagnant and ever present in a dream?"

The thought doesn't mean to come out, but it does. Oh, it does.]

Comments

[bladeofnymeia]

[It works well enough for Firoza's response to be apologetic, maybe not as much as it might be if the link was wholly open to receiving, but still noticeable.]

Oh! I'm sorry, I hadn't...meant to bother anyone. [She doesn't know this person. She disturbed a stranger with her anxiety? Terrible.] My apologies, I ought to be better at this by now.

[wovensecrets]

[ There's likely a sense of bristling, that sensation of someone not wanting to be caught on the other end at all, but now they were both here.

Right, then. There's a slight pause as she's trying to process the apology while trying not to deal with the other emotions. Even her own guarded irritation for being so stirred up at all, even if the hint of it is probably still there. ]

Tch -- don't worry about it. It was your responsibility to open the communication at all, but I was careless. Just, try not to make it a habit?

[ It's an effort, having to be people. There's likely that sense - she's not too used to this sort of thing. ]

[bladeofnymeia]

I - I have been working on it. It was once much worse.

[She just feels, she can't help it.]

It doesn't help that being on the receiving end doesn't bother me as much as it might others? I had an ability like that, back home. Couldn't control that either.

[wovensecrets]

At least here you have somewhat of a choice, right~?

[ There is sort of an upside from getting so much mental feedback from other people, she realizes, it's a distraction from her own issues. There's also an annoying familiarity, the acceptance that comes with unavoidable things. Things she finds ironic with her new unavoidable issues. ]

Being used to it, that just means you must have told yourself over and over again that it didn't bother you until you believed it~! How else would you manage?

[bladeofnymeia]

Oh, no, it was still very intense. I just meant...compared to those of us brought here. It's still a difficult experience no matter how many times you go through it.

[It could be worse! It can always be worse.]

...I suppose I do have a choice. But considering I still reach out through the pearls regardless, I must be looking for trouble.

[A little bit of self-aware self-deprecation.]

[wovensecrets]

Clearly, you must be.

[ She's not about to mince words, even if she's admitted her own responsibility in continuing to engage. Almost as if continuing to deflect is a hobby, or something. ]

After all, you even made it a point to reach out even to strangers who might very well turn and use your vulnerability against you.

[bladeofnymeia]

Perhaps. But I would much rather be honest and vulnerable, than keeping it all inside and worse for it.

[Sometimes bottling up everything can make you even more vulnerable. It's true!]

[wovensecrets]

Well, suit yourself in that case. Just, be careful what sort of things you're casting out here to the universe~? Some of us are sensitive.

[ One day she'll get the hang of the psychic network to not be so immediately throttled by it, but it probably doesn't help that she's a serial bottler. ]

[bladeofnymeia]

O-Oh! Is that...is that so? I hadn't - ugh, but I ought to of thought so. I apologize.

[Had she turbo-blasted her sad thoughts that loud? Shit.]

[wovensecrets]

It's just the way these little devices work, right~? You were caught up in your thoughts, so it probably gave out more than you wanted.

[ A pause, as she tries to actually shift through some of the information rather than trying to push it all away. ]

For what it's worth, it's their second chance to want or not, right? If you were that close with them, I'm sure they'd be grateful enough to be here and see you again. This world is a strange place after all.

[bladeofnymeia]

...It would still be better had they remained.

[To have them and lose them is better than none at all, but. It stings, it lingers.]

I have made friends here, found wonderful companions. But some familiarity amongst the crowd...it would be nice.

[wovensecrets]

[ Oof. That feeling... ]

They could possibly still be here somewhere~ this world has multiple dimensions after all.

[ Not sure if that's comforting or not but there was a reason this whole subject had hit strongly. ]

light Dawntrail spoilers

[bladeofnymeia]

...Still getting used to that word. Dimensions.

["Traversing the rift between worlds" made more sense to her. But no, the cyberpunk city dropped into the Fantasy American Southwest were all about inter-dimensional bullshit.]

[wovensecrets]

Right... it isn't really a word to be thrown about casually! But, there's a lot unknown about this world, even by the standards of those already a part of it...

[ She at least can relate on the scale of 'casual world hopper' even if the nature of that was it's own complex webbing. Let alone being lost in the fog here for some time. So she knows her perspective is at least a little unique for experiences in some way. ]

[bladeofnymeia]

Mm. That's the case for many worlds, I've found. Every star has an abundance of secrets yet to tell, and no one will ever hear them all.

[wovensecrets]

Probably not, but, there's that funny little thing called hope, right?

[ Maybe not for her, but this wasn't about her, so. ]

[bladeofnymeia]

[A sense of a grin. More mischievous than hopeful, but still hopeful.]

Aye - and it's not as if I'm not willing to die trying.

[wovensecrets]

[ Mission... accomplished? In trying to lesson some of the gloom, anyway. ]

For your case, hopefully that shouldn't be necessary...

[bladeofnymeia]

[...It's not funny but she snort-giggles anyway.]

Mm, you'd think, wouldn't you...one would like to think so.

[wovensecrets]

[ She knows she's stated some things with ironic humor in mind, but that wasn't the expected reaction, either...

But, dying might just be one of those subjects she tries to avoid where herself is concerned. Others? Fair game for distraction. ]

Oh? Sounds like someone has stories.

[bladeofnymeia]

Too many for one night's worth of tales.

[wovensecrets]

Well, the Pokémon around here do seem interested in that sort of thing. If you were to tell them more often.

[ If the beach gatherings were anything to go by. ]

[bladeofnymeia]

I will have to endeavor to do so more often, when the opportunities come along.

[wovensecrets]

It'll probably help you with your situation too.

[ Stories, keeping memory alive, maybe something would better serve to connect her to an old friend again, who knew? There was just so much going on here, mentally. Emotionally. ]